Chezspeak

thefrogman:

We all love the amazing tumblr script, Missing e. But let’s face it, having useful features that increase our blogging productivity is too mainstream. That’s why I am proud to present…

Missing f!

This script is designed with almost no thought whatsoever. I took a bunch of pills and wrote down every feature I could think of.

Let’s take a look, shall we?

This button is connected to the Internet Kitten Database. You have access to over 2 billion different kitten pictures. This gives you a 100% guarantee that you will never post the same kitten twice.

Okay, minor bug. We will fix that in version 1.1.

When tumblr goes down we are required to whine about it. It’s just what we do. But it takes so much time to screencap the error screen and write something mean in big red letters. With this feature you just click the button, and it happens automagically.

Why do we have these errors? It’s probably a server capacity issue caused by a bottleneck in the system. Something topherchris has very little to do with.

Blame him anyway. It’s fun!

I can’t actually tell you what this light signifies. Just know that if it ever stops blinking, gather up all your weapons and head to your designated bunker. If you don’t know what I’m talking about…

Everything’s fine. Nothing to worry about.

Tumblr was meant for hipsters, but its recent popularity has made it a very undesirable place for them. BE COOL, HIPSTERS. Just engage Hipster Mode and enter the underground dashboard that you’ve probably never heard of.

“Hey man. This picture of a nebula has no triangles.”

ENGAGE HIPSTER MODE.

“This sunset has no vague platitude written across it in Helvetica.”

ENGAGE HIPSTER MODE.

Not only will Missing f give you the amazing sidebar features shown above, but it has many other wonderful additions to really make your tumblr experience as frustrating as possible.

Want to feel important? Good news…

Now you can compete against one another using an arbitrary ranking system. I have thrown out the old tumblr algorithm and based the new tumblarity on how much you please Gaga.

Have you ever thought, “This person’s page isn’t annoying enough.” Never fear! This can be rectified with Forever Autoplay. It forces every tumblr page you visit to automatically play music. This music has been specially modified to be twice the volume of normal music and we’ve hidden the pause button so it is incredibly hard to find. You’ll be hunting for several minutes for sure.

Let’s say you have a post that does not have enough blockquotes.

No problem! Just initialize the Megablockquote Generator 3000 and you will have blockquotes shooting off the side of the dash in no time.

Currently tumblr restricts all animated GIFs to be no more than 512 kilobytes in size. I say that is way more than we could possibly use. With the MicroGIF feature your GIFs will be restricted even further. If you try to post anything larger than 12k, your tumblr and all its posts will be automatically deleted.

See? That’s plenty big.

Have you ever noticed that the tumblr logo has a 1 where the L should be?

To solve this I have taken the tumblr logo and turned it into a dinosaur.

I’m sure by now you are all wondering how you get this magnificent script. IT’S EASY!

All you have to do is reblog & follow!

http://thefrogman.me Apply directly to the forehead.
http://thefrogman.me Apply directly to the forehead.
http://thefrogman.me Apply directly to the forehead.

Once I have verified that you have done this I will put the link to the script in your ask box.

Remember, if tumblr isn’t frustrating… it’s missing f.